ANGER

I keep trying to shake it off - I try to think positive thoughts. I smile - I joke - I laugh - I cry (cuz they say it’s therapeutic). I distract myself with shopping and cocktails- fine dining - reading about other peoples drama and giving advice - and cooking and cleaning and washing the clothes and trying new hair styles - I try to shake it off - by being there for my family and friends and going to lectures given by people who I consider have achieved greatness, such as Corretta Scott King - Maya Angelou - and Tavis smiley. I distract myself by reading poetry and planning parties - and keeping up on current events and surfing the net - and blowing trees and wishing I could unlock the secrets of the universe. I dabble in this - and I dabble in that - to distract myself. Cuz a terrible anger resides inside of me - I am mad at the world - angry with myself - for being angry. There is no peace within me. I desire no pity - I expect no fear from anyone - and I aint crazy . . . .
Yes, something has got to change. I’m trying to stand on the good foot - but I ‘m growing weary and indifferent. I would call on a God - but I don’t know which name to call - what to wear - or say when I’m calling. And that’s the truth - and it feels fucked up - but that’s how it’s going down.