Hang Loose

Lemme tell ya’ll a lil sum sumthin’ . . .
Yesterday, my greatest pleasure was coming home, taking off my underwire bra and laying up under the air conditioner. Underwire bras are evil and they need to be destroyed! Unfortunately, an underwire bra is the only thing that gives my exhausted, 30 year old breasts the boost that they need. When gravity takes over, it is the underwire bra that is there to the rescue. But it is definitely a love/hate relationship.

Lemme tell ya’ll a lil sum sumthin’ . . .
Please don’t make the make the mistake of buying a cheaply made bra or continue to wear a bra that has “bite the dust”. This is not to say finding a bra to suit your budget is wrong. But I suggest that you choose quality over appearance or quantity. Pick a bra, like you pick your fruit. Cuz, what may happen is the resentful wire holding up your breast will decide it no longer wants to support you. Yes, the underwire has taken on a life of it’s own and is plotting against you. It then prepares to launch what I call an “Underwire Coup”. Determined to upset the relationship between you and your bra, it finds a way to infiltrate the boundaries of your bras fabric. Inch by inch it works itself half way out of it’s shell and before you can say “good googlymoogly” a rebellious underwire is attacking your underarm. Stabbing discomfort is all you will know as the underwire relentlessly jabs your side. Stick and move - stick and move - the underwire is expert at irritating the hell out of you.

Lemme tell ya’ll a lil sum sumthin’ . . .
Sometimes a sister needs to hang on to her dysfunctional underwire bra. Although the underwire has gone astray, there is still one good wire left. In an effort to hang onto of my favorite bras, I removed the wire that was tearing into my delicate flesh. However, due to the fact that I now had one titty posted up as it should be and the other hanging at half mass, I had to turn the bra loose. Lopsided breasts are not attractive to anyone, unless perhaps you have a cockeyed lover who has one eyeball leaning to the side. He won’t notice the difference.

Lemme tell ya’ll a lil sum sumthin’ . . .
In case you didn’t know lingerie is expensive. A decent matching bra and panty set is going to cost you much more than it should. If you want to rotate a fresh set of drawers on at least a 7-day schedule. (And I hope you do) Be ready to drop down a pretty penny. I think the fashion industry has lost their damn minds for what they are asking for a bra and panty set these days! Good luck trying to find a matching set on SALE. You find a great bra, but they don’t have the panties in your size. You find the perfect panties but the only matching bra left is a 29AA cup. I was in the store a few months ago sweating like a hebrew slave over the SALE rack. What do you brothers know about that? When is the last time you picked through a sales rack for some affordable - quality - drawls?

Lemme tell ya’ll a lil sum sumthin’ . . .
I shouldn’t be too much concerned about beautiful undergarments and matching sets these days. I’m the only one who sees my “drawls”. As long as they are clean and unsoiled I’m good to go. I could be walking around in some plaid, bleach stained bloomers and a bra that has Christmas Trees on it and it wouldn’t make a bit of difference. Nobody is going to know what lies beneath my freshly pressed, well put together, ensembles. Ha! It’s true. Now I’m over here thinking about some holy (not divine but raggedy) tights I wear in the winter time. *laughing*

Lemme tell ya’ll a lil sum sumthin’ . . .
Tights aint cheap! At least not the kind I like to wear . . .