There Will Be None of That!

July 25,2003

Dear Ms. Angelique

We missed you at your scheduled appointment with us on July 17th, 2003. We hope there is nothing seriously wrong. We do request that patients provide us with a notice of at least 48 hours if unable to make a reserved appoinment time. This gives us a chance to serve another patient. Since we were not informed, there is a $25.00 charge.

Please call the office to schedule another appointment. We are interested in achieving an excellent prognosis with your dental treatment and any delay may lead to problems with a poorer prognosis.

Sincerely,

Lori
Prairie Dental Group
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Okay, this is some bullshyt. I’m not trying to read this type of mail when I come home from work. “We hope there is nothing seriously wrong”, yeah right, like Prairie Dental really gives a gotdamn about my well being. Sounds more like sarcasm to me. “We hope there is nothing seriously wrong”, the only thing wrong is that these bloodsuckers want $25.OO from a chick like me! I don’t believe in paying for services that are not rendered.

I think it’s a crime what doctors and dentists charge these days. Insurance rates are out of control. Not only do I have a deductible, I have nice lil’ a co-pay as well. I’m getting juiced for my dividends so some prick can scrap my gums and x-ray my teeth every six months. And the whole time the dental hygienist has her rubber fingers in my mouth, she’s hitting me up with a sales pitch.

“Your teeth look great Angelique. I think you would really enjoy our Sonic Care toothbrush. It’s faster, easier to use, and combines 41,000 sonic strokes per minute with patented Cyberspring bristles to take oral care to a higher power. I have one at home and love it. It’s sort of on the pricey side, but it’s well worth it. I recommend one for your son as well. Sometimes children have a habit of brushing too hard. We also have Crest Whitening Strips if you are interested. “

Yeah, exaaaaaaactly, it’s sorta on the overpriced side: $100.00 + tax. I bet it cost Sonic Care $1.00 to make those joints somewhere in Timbuktu. As I type this post, some poor, enslaved child is assembling Sonic Care toothbrushes for pennies a day. Yeah, I think I’ll just keep using the OralB I bought at Target and hope for the best.

Prairie Dental should charged $25.00 for soliciting me to buy products every damn time I step - up - in - the place! This is one of the reasons I decided not to go back. I want a dentist that has more of a personable feel. At Prairie Dental I felt like I’m a number, not a patient.

So in conclusion, the “prognosis” is: Prairie Dental will get hit off with my hard earned $25.00 when the honorable Louis Farrakhan eats hog maws and chitterlings with George W. Bush during Rosh Hashanah! Until then Prairie Dental and their extra perky - extra phony - overpriced toothbrush peddling - hygienist as can kiss my gap toothed azz. I’m am so serious.