God Bless Minneapolis
Posted by Saucy Dame Dizzle on
September 8, 2003
Fat and Sweaty Beggar On The Corner: Excuse me sista, you got some change I can hold on to?
Angelique: *brushing right past him* I can’t do nothing for you man.
Fat and Sweaty Beggar On The Corner: *laughing* Come on, you know I’m an alcoholic!
I was keeping in stride, paying him no mind. I had scanned my surroundings. The goal was to steadily move away from the depressing, run-down, area on the south side of Minneapolis. The whole time I was thinking to myself, “What is happening to Minneapolis? Who are these people? Where did they come from? ” This particular area was the exact same place where my grandmother would take me for shoe shopping and ice cream on lazy summer afternoons. Back then, my only concern was if she would make me get the ugly “doo-doo” colored “Buster Browns” with the wedge heel, because they were “practical”. Or, if could I smooth talk her into copping the black patent leather “mary janes” with a cutout flower design and a shiny silver buckle. Those would be most impressive to my peers.
Fast forward 25 years: no ice cream - no shoes, just the walking dead - a very successful liquor store - a check cashing place and Kentucky Fried Chicken. I’m attempting to discreetly clutch my purse and not any show signs of weakness, “just in case” some crack head decides to help himself to my pocketbook. I don’t live in the area, however, I was visiting a friend that does. The block looks like shit from the outside, but when you enter her domain it’s like another world: clean - quiet and safe.
Fat and Sweaty Beggar On The Corner: *laughing* Come on, you know I’m an alcoholic!
That’s when I looked down at the sidewalk. Someone had wasted their Chinese food. A big mound of rice lay next to another pile of stir-fried-shit. It looked disgusting. Without missing a beat, I took a big step around the mess. That’s when the Fat Sweaty Beggar On The Corner said:
He laughed some more and asked the next person approaching for some change. Yeah, even the drunk with no shame has jokes. But what’s so funny? I get to homegirls house and she’s like “Do you want to run over to the liquor store?”
Angelique: Hell Naw, I’m not trying to go back outside. I’m cool. We don’t need anything to drink.
Homegirl: I’ll go . . .
She heads over the closet and busts out a bright orange baseball cap. Not only is the cap bright as hell. She has the nerve to wear it backwards.
Angelique: *shaking head* Now, you know that you’re asking for all types of unecessary conversation, going up in the liquor store w/ that blinding - orange cap on, rocked to the back . . .
Homegirl: You think so?
Angelique: Yes, you have “come and talk crazy to me” written all over you. Summer is over, take that bright azz cap off! lmao!
Homegirl: Forget you!!
