God Bless Minneapolis

Fat and Sweaty Beggar On The Corner: Excuse me sista, you got some change I can hold on to?

Angelique: *brushing right past him* I can’t do nothing for you man.

Fat and Sweaty Beggar On The Corner: *laughing* Come on, you know I’m an alcoholic!

I was keeping in stride, paying him no mind. I had scanned my surroundings. The goal was to steadily move away from the depressing, run-down, area on the south side of Minneapolis. The whole time I was thinking to myself, “What is happening to Minneapolis? Who are these people? Where did they come from? ” This particular area was the exact same place where my grandmother would take me for shoe shopping and ice cream on lazy summer afternoons. Back then, my only concern was if she would make me get the ugly “doo-doo” colored “Buster Browns” with the wedge heel, because they were “practical”. Or, if could I smooth talk her into copping the black patent leather “mary janes” with a cutout flower design and a shiny silver buckle. Those would be most impressive to my peers.

Fast forward 25 years: no ice cream - no shoes, just the walking dead - a very successful liquor store - a check cashing place and Kentucky Fried Chicken. I’m attempting to discreetly clutch my purse and not any show signs of weakness, “just in case” some crack head decides to help himself to my pocketbook. I don’t live in the area, however, I was visiting a friend that does. The block looks like shit from the outside, but when you enter her domain it’s like another world: clean - quiet and safe.

Fat and Sweaty Beggar On The Corner: *laughing* Come on, you know I’m an alcoholic!

That’s when I looked down at the sidewalk. Someone had wasted their Chinese food. A big mound of rice lay next to another pile of stir-fried-shit. It looked disgusting. Without missing a beat, I took a big step around the mess. That’s when the Fat Sweaty Beggar On The Corner said:

He laughed some more and asked the next person approaching for some change. Yeah, even the drunk with no shame has jokes. But what’s so funny? I get to homegirls house and she’s like “Do you want to run over to the liquor store?”

Angelique: Hell Naw, I’m not trying to go back outside. I’m cool. We don’t need anything to drink.
Homegirl: I’ll go . . .

She heads over the closet and busts out a bright orange baseball cap. Not only is the cap bright as hell. She has the nerve to wear it backwards.

Angelique: *shaking head* Now, you know that you’re asking for all types of unecessary conversation, going up in the liquor store w/ that blinding - orange cap on, rocked to the back . . .
Homegirl: You think so?
Angelique: Yes, you have “come and talk crazy to me” written all over you. Summer is over, take that bright azz cap off! lmao!
Homegirl: Forget you!!

Arnold, Pass That Shyt . . .

[Mr. Pookie]
I can feel it in the back of my mind
It’s like Mary Jane came at the right time
While I’m feeling divine
I take a look at the sky to make me feel like a nigga wanna stay high
Take a look at my eyes
You’d probably think I was blind
When you see a nigga’s eyes that low fool
The people crook a nigga so cool
I been high all day me and the niggas that I’m close to
Up in the glass house BLOW!
And I’m loving this shit
Mary Jane to the brain, I’m in love with ya bitch
Don’t know what I’d do if you didn’t exist
No better way to calm me down when I’m stressing and shit
See there’s a blessing for this
Now where the Indo
Getting higher than I can go
Roll it up I wanna see it in the air let the wind blow
All I wanna see is big smoke


Chorus (2X)
Just smoke
And blow
A blunt with me
I like marijuana
You like marijuana
We like marijuana
Legalize marijuana
Just smoke
- - -

[Mr. Lucci]
Sparking up the Mary Jane
Everyday in my own zone, gettin blowed
Holding down the place
Cuz when I’m chief I hate
Notice how my eyes lay when I’m so throwed
Kissing ya lips and holding ya soul
Ooo love ya baby girl love the way that ya breaking me off

[Chorus]

PIMPIN’ HARD or PERPETUATING BULLSHIT?

Seems like everyone wants to be a P.I.M.P these days.
50 Cents latest single “PIMP” is in heavy rotation on your F.M. dial - television - etc. Even If I never - ever step out to the club or play my radio again, I’ll still have no choice but to hear the song blasting from some ones car - or at a Bar-B-Que - or at the corner market - or the barbershop - or the teenager on the bus with her headphones cranked up to 10.
The song is everywhere. White folks love it too. The instrumental sounds like some shit you would hear on a cruise ship. I wouldn’t be suprised if 10 years from now 50 Cents’ “PIMP” is transformed into elevator music. You know they play the classics!

Jay Z’s talking about Big Pimpin’ - Chi Towns Do or Die rhymed about “Po’ Pimpin’ “ - R Kelly is on some pimp shyt he even did a nice little routine for us on BET’s music awards. Too Short and Snoop Dogg are on some PIMP shyt - and the list goes on and on and on and on. Books on Pimpin’ and film documentaries such as HBO’s “Pimps Up Hoes Down” and The Hughes Brothers “American Pimp” are as popular as ever. People seem to be fascinated by the lifestyle of pimps and hoes. They always have been and always will be (intrigued). But, does the evil that men do, deserve props?

The harsh reality often overlooked, is that Pimps are more than colorful characters out of a Blaxplotation film. Essentially, they flesh peddlers that prey on the minds of weak women, women that may have already suffered other forms of abuse in their lives. Their attitude towards the treatment of women is sickening. There is nothing noble or heroic about abusing or manipulating another human being. So why do so many of us, including myself, embrace the pimp game as a form of entertainment? Is this as good as our lives get?

David Banner and Lil Flip’s “Like a Pimp” keeps the dance floors in the Midwest krunk! Never mind that the lyrics are straight up offensive to any woman that gives a damn. I guess It feels damn good to shake your ass in the club after you’ve worked hard all week getting “pimped” by the “man”. Many times I’m right along with the program, disregarding the lyrics and riding the track with a drink in my hand. Sadly, I’ve become desensitized to garbage I’m listening to. I’m enjoying garbage - trash that degrades me and my women folk. In one breath I’m demanding RESPECT and in the next I’m bouncing around “Like A Pimp” - downloading misogynistic songs on KAAZA every chance I get.

What does that say about me? I’ll have to think about it and get back to you.

Noooow Lil Jon is in his videos gripping a “PIMP CUP”. These goblets are popping up in the hands of all kinds of ugly little no-named negros trying to walk- talk-and act like a pimp. But what are they really representing? Commonplace, ghetto bullshyt, that’s what. And I’m still waiting for my “PIMP CUP”! But I must have some exclusive shit, none of that homemade “knock-off” - internet bootleg - advertised in the back of the SOURCE magazine crap-o-la. Ya dig? None of the cups I’ve seen online or videos look like the one I’m waiting on. I’ve said it before - It’s a cold cold world. I’m just trying to get in where I fit in. Or am I really just copping out? I’ll get back to you on that, I got some hoes to “check”.

*shouting* ” BITCH! *pimp slap* WHERE’S MY EXCLUSIVE PIMP CUP ?

Linkage:
1: IceBerg Pimp Cups
2:Custom Cups
3:Some Mo’ PIMP-GOBLETS
4:Just a few more “PIMP CUPS”
5:Are you still looking for a “PIMP CUP” ?
6:PIMP FICTION White boys who think the pimp game is funny.

Yes - There is such a thing as FREE LUNCH!

Q: Am I wrong for altering (lying about) my annual income so that my son recieves free lunch at school? Will I burn in hell because I’m not trying to pay for his pizza and choc-o-late milk?

THE FEVER: I Need Some &*%K In My Life!!

is the title too personal? does it make you uncomfortable? well, sorry charlie - it is what it is.

*singing*
can’t stop, won’t stop
rocafella records cause
we get down baby, we get down baby
girls the girls they love us
cause we stay fresh to def
we the best nuthin less

don’t ask me why i’ve been mentally replaying this verse in my head all damn day. i really don’t care much about rockafella reocrds or those lil’ smarty pants the “young gunz” but, the beat to this song is “nutty”! it makes my phat azz wanna bust a move! ya’ll aint never seen me in action on the dance floor - it’s a beautiful thang. i bump all of the skinny chicks to side and work it out. more bounce to the ounce biooootch!

this past saturday nite, the “rose man” was waiting for me when i got off the dance floor! someone must’ve appreciated me “droppin’ it like it’s hot”! i picked a lovely yellow rose, but i never did find out who bought it for me.

it couldv’e been anyone. . .
it could’ve been your baby momma! it aint no telling.

more and more women keep flirting with me when i step out the club. it’s not safe to go to the bathroom alone these days.

bi-chick: i really like that shade of lip gloss you’re wearing.

lique: thank you. *smile*

bi-chick: you have beautiful lips, they are so full. *looking me over and moving in on me* is that a “beauty-mark” by your lips ??? that’s sexy.

(stevie wonder can see the lustful look in her eyes)

lique: yes, i suppose.

i’m not really concerned about a persons sexual preference, but i think the whole - bi-sexual - bi-curious - TREND has gotten out of control. i’ve encountered several so called “bi-sexual” women, that are really just borderline hoes. all they want to do is get their “roll out” with any tom-dick and harpo and sometimes an angelique. i know when someone is flirting with me versus giving a compliment. freaky azz broads. i’m not a present for ya man! move around ya drunk bitch! get your mind right.

my intentions are not to offend anyone. but, i’m thinking that you shouldn’t base your sexual preference on a trend. stop trying to be like one of those bimbos on someones video.

anyhoo . . .
a sister is in dire need of a nice skrong man with muscles, stamina and excellent oral skills. i’m really really missing dirk right about now. *sigh* . . . but i’m missing his technique, more than the bullshit - i really am. he useta be like bustah rhymes and light that azz on fire! lol!

however!

i shall/must/will refrain from letting my amorous nature rule my world. i refuse to settle for hard dick and bubble gum. i’m gon’ be aight.