Saturday Morning and the Bathroom Floor . . .

America,

It’s Saturday morning at Angeliques’ house and I have several things to do today. But first I thought I’d hit you off with a mid - morning edition of the Life and Times of the Sauciest Dame. I must warn you, I woke up on the fun lovin’ - tad bit ignorant - aint no telling what will fly out of my fingers and unto the keyboard side of the bed. So, whatever is whatever.

Now, let’s get on with the get on and rewind back to Thursday night, okay? Great! Thursday night I was cold chillin’ in the place to be. I was choppin’ it up with my girls, sippin’ on some Zinfandel and getting my boogie on. As usual, after a few glasses of wine, my weak ass bladder told me I’d best make way for the ladies room, as not to take a drunken piss on myself.

Upon entering the bathroom, I was accosted by an ill visual on a young woman, laid out on the bathroom floor. She was lying there motionless as several other women around her looked on, in horror, while trying to figure out what should be done to help her . Of course, 911 was called. I’m not exactly sure what the final diagnosis was, but it was said that she had a seizure. None of her friends were to be found.

Now, in the process of all of this commotion and concern, something kept distracting my attention. And I swear, I kept trying to focus on the bigger picture, but my eyeballs had a mind of there own. The chic that was knocked out had on a very short skirt. Apparently, she decided that she was not going to be wearing panties for the evening. Girlfriends “goodies” were shaved balled as an Eagle. Her clitoris was adorned with an interesting looking piercing. I can’t give you any additional details on the piercing itself, as I really was trying not to get to involved in her private , but it looked kinda scary.

Yep, Homegirl is a free spirit, there’s nothing wrong with that. Two Three things came to mind every time I inadvertently peeped her cooch.

1./ What kind of freaky plans did she have, prior to this incident?

2./ If I were her, I’d never show my face at this venue again. (I’m popular and the news would spread like wildfire all over this lil funky city that Angelique don’t rock no drawals under her mini skirts). That would cause a stir round this here neck of the woods, in more ways than one.

3./ That’s why granny always said make sure you have on clean underwear in case on an emergency.

I mean, it’s really not that, big of a deal. But personally, I would be mortified. The paramedics came and carried her away. I’m sure she will be okay.

End story.