Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.
- Chinese Proverb

I concur. We as human beings are a never ending work in progress. Remaining stagnant in our thoughts, actions and spirit is guaranteed to yield the same monotonous results time and time again. And in the grand scheme of this thing called life, growing through the ugliness is a bittersweet part of the process.

I understand that I still have much growing and learning and living to do. I’se still a young Grasshoppa with many lessons in store. There are an abundance of skills and traits I have not yet mastered. The ironic part is, I feel as though by the time I become a wise old owl . . . surely my body will fail me and I will die. The end. Just like a movie.

I have to wonder why life works this way. I enjoy a challenge, but damn - where’s the payoff? In heaven? The after-life? You know, it’s funny how many of us look to be rewarded for our struggles at the “Pearly Gates”. Like St.Peter is going to allow us access to a paradise unlike anything we’ve known or could fathom in our daily lives. A place where lions sleep on the bosoms of lambs . . . and everything is love, peace, happiness and understanding.

Is that the way it works?

Call me a cynic, but at one time in history, some Humans thought that if we sailed too far in our make-shift ships, surely we would fall off the edge of the Earth. The Greeks belived in more than one God, creating myths , to give their lives some reason and understanding. The Religious Crusades will go down is history as one of the most brutal and savage attacks against Man - all done in the name of God. But it was really all about money, power and intolorence. And then there’s Voodoo . . .

I could go on and on with this . . . I could go real far with it and say that the Bible is a book of fairy tales interpreted by Man, once again, to give our lives some rhyme and reason - and to control the masses. I know I’ve ruffled some Christian feathers now . . . but I can’t deny my uncertainty.

I don’t claim to be an religious expert (I’se still a young Grasshoppa, remember?) I mean no disrespect to anyones beliefs. Surely I don’t have all the answers. Just as you, I’m looking for something to believe in too. I am without faith. This could not possibly be a good thing. The point I’m trying to make is that I can’t stand on the word of ‘Man’, alone. I don’t trust it.

I believe in a higher power . . . and I do my best to live right. But I really wish my Creator would speak to me in a language I can understand. I need guidance. Dear creator, if you’re reading this post could you please holla back?

I’m not talking about some miracle type of stuff, either - nor a mystery voice from the sky . . . I want some face to face contact. Don’t we all deserve that as human beings? And I’m not trying to hear from any 5 Percenter’s talking about “The Black Man Is God”, either.

I’m probably rambling . . . don’t mean too. I guess I’m rambling on the inside. Rambling, but moving . . . and not stagnant.

I just wish our Creator would just show his/her/its face, talk to us directly and resolve some of the madness taking place in our world. But in the meanwhile, I’ll just continue to grow slowly . . . and eventually die. *sigh* But before I “kick the bucket” and move on to the unknown . . . perhaps I’ll have some proverbs of my own to write.

“One winter morning Peter woke up and looked out the window. Snow had fallen during the night. It covered everything as far as he could see. . .” It’s been snowing in Minnesnowta . . .suprise, suprise! Just 4 maybe 5 more months until spring is sprung. I know you envy me. And some of ya’ll wonder why I came get mean and downright surly. I want out of this state!

Berry has written a list about the things she would do if she could be a kid again for a day. It is a really awesome list. It got me to thinking about what I would do . . . but I won’t be listing anything today. LOL!

One thing I will share is my fondness for the books I read in elementary school. I loved to read as a child. I would devour book after book. Reading was my passion, so much, that I even participated in a few Read-A-Thons. I was earning all types of goodies, based on my readin’ skills. Time passed and I discovered the art of make-up and boys. I fell off. *frowns* My mother told me to keep my books open and my legs closed, but I didn’t listen. . .

Now, mostly what I read is on the internet or in a fashion magazine. I really need to get back to the pleasure of reading a good book - and none of that ghetto-fiction-mess . . . something that will add to my souls progression.

Ezra Jack Keats is one of my favorites. I was attracted to his books instantly, because of their lush and colorful illustrations. Each page is a visual treat. And if I recall, when I was a “Shorty” his books were some of the very few, representing characters that looked like the people in my neighborhood.

What I recently learned, like today . . . is that Ezra Jack Keats was born to Polish immigrants of Jewish descent. All these years I assumed he was a “brother”. Not that it makes a difference.

Other books/authors I cherish:

All of Shel Silversteins books.
Anything written by Judy Bloom
Arnold Lobel’s “Frog and Toad Are Friends“
Russell Hobans “A Bargain For Frances“ and the rest of the series.
The Chronicles of Narnia written by CS Lewis andBeezus and Ramona by Beverly Clearly.

Classic Material. Moving forward, I think I’ll be re-visiting some of these books:) It’s nice to reminisce.

Have a warm and fuzzy day,

Ramona “Angelique” Quimby

Artist: Erykah Badu
Album: Mommas Gun
RELEASE DATE: 21 November 2000

Five years later; I’m still in love with Erykahs sophmore album, Mamas Gun. Pre ‘Puma‘ (Badus youngest child ) and post Andre 3000 ; Mommas Gun reflects a sense of playful self-assurance, pride in inner-beauty and a respect for women. Every song is like a love poem.

Some folks found the album to be rather boring. I have to disagree. Badu emotionally disrobed for this one . . . managing to take off some of her ‘ self-righteous Baduizm cool ‘ in the process. And , I’m a real sucker for musical arrangements with a nice blend of flutes and precussion. I was born in the 70’s, what more can I say?

If anyone cares to know the pattern of my thoughts these days, all you need do is insert “Mamas Gun” into rotation. Listen with your heart and surely you will feel me. Note: “Green Eyes” is a classic, but I aint much for crying over lost love these days. So, you can exclude that particular song from “know how I am feeling these days . . .” category. LOL! But otherwise, the girl has me pegged.

Personal Favorites:
Didn’t Cha Know
My Life
Cleva
Booty
Kiss Me On My Neck
Orange Moon
Bag Lady
Time’s A Wastin
In Love With You
Green Eyes

Dang . . . pretty much the entire album.

Later tonite I’ll be adding some Badu tracks to my Radio Blog. And, I suppose I could hit you off w/ a few tid-bits of info and blurbs I’ve been sitting on. I haven’t really been in much of a writing mood these days . . . still trying to shake off some of this melancholy and keep it moving.

Thank you Erykah, for giving me a soundtrack to get back on track.