Geez, I Sure Would Appreciate Some Answers. . .

Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.
- Chinese Proverb

I concur. We as human beings are a never ending work in progress. Remaining stagnant in our thoughts, actions and spirit is guaranteed to yield the same monotonous results time and time again. And in the grand scheme of this thing called life, growing through the ugliness is a bittersweet part of the process.

I understand that I still have much growing and learning and living to do. I’se still a young Grasshoppa with many lessons in store. There are an abundance of skills and traits I have not yet mastered. The ironic part is, I feel as though by the time I become a wise old owl . . . surely my body will fail me and I will die. The end. Just like a movie.

I have to wonder why life works this way. I enjoy a challenge, but damn - where’s the payoff? In heaven? The after-life? You know, it’s funny how many of us look to be rewarded for our struggles at the “Pearly Gates”. Like St.Peter is going to allow us access to a paradise unlike anything we’ve known or could fathom in our daily lives. A place where lions sleep on the bosoms of lambs . . . and everything is love, peace, happiness and understanding.

Is that the way it works?

Call me a cynic, but at one time in history, some Humans thought that if we sailed too far in our make-shift ships, surely we would fall off the edge of the Earth. The Greeks belived in more than one God, creating myths , to give their lives some reason and understanding. The Religious Crusades will go down is history as one of the most brutal and savage attacks against Man - all done in the name of God. But it was really all about money, power and intolorence. And then there’s Voodoo . . .

I could go on and on with this . . . I could go real far with it and say that the Bible is a book of fairy tales interpreted by Man, once again, to give our lives some rhyme and reason - and to control the masses. I know I’ve ruffled some Christian feathers now . . . but I can’t deny my uncertainty.

I don’t claim to be an religious expert (I’se still a young Grasshoppa, remember?) I mean no disrespect to anyones beliefs. Surely I don’t have all the answers. Just as you, I’m looking for something to believe in too. I am without faith. This could not possibly be a good thing. The point I’m trying to make is that I can’t stand on the word of ‘Man’, alone. I don’t trust it.

I believe in a higher power . . . and I do my best to live right. But I really wish my Creator would speak to me in a language I can understand. I need guidance. Dear creator, if you’re reading this post could you please holla back?

I’m not talking about some miracle type of stuff, either - nor a mystery voice from the sky . . . I want some face to face contact. Don’t we all deserve that as human beings? And I’m not trying to hear from any 5 Percenter’s talking about “The Black Man Is God”, either.

I’m probably rambling . . . don’t mean too. I guess I’m rambling on the inside. Rambling, but moving . . . and not stagnant.

I just wish our Creator would just show his/her/its face, talk to us directly and resolve some of the madness taking place in our world. But in the meanwhile, I’ll just continue to grow slowly . . . and eventually die. *sigh* But before I “kick the bucket” and move on to the unknown . . . perhaps I’ll have some proverbs of my own to write.