Passive Aggressive Catharsis

List up to ten (10) things you want to say to ten (10) different people. Do not state who these people are. Do not confirm or deny any ‘comment speculation’

*A mental/written exercise found by the way of Revolutions Per Minute.

You’re going to read this list, and believe you know every person each item is referencing. And you will be wrong.

1. Let’s pretend I give a damn and leave it at that. I’m glad you love your cubicle job so much. *smirk* Cuz, that’s all you can do - is sit your ugly ass at a desk, file FTP reports and make everyone else’s 9 to 5 miserable - You bald headed, alopecia areata inflicted, tight pant suit wearing, panty-line showcasing, Mc Donalds BIG MAC eatin’, witch cackling, tube sock and dress shoe rockin’, OFFICE SPACE, house nigga.

2. Why on earth, at your age and status, would you get pregnant, AGAIN? And I’m suppose listen to your pregnant sob stories and deal with your mood swings, right? WRONG! We aint that tight!

3. I slept with your friend. Truth be told, he was waaaaay nicer in the boudoir than YOU. In and out, head to toe, yo he rocked it. He could’ve put my “boom-boom” in his pocket. That’s how dope shit was - you need to give him a buzz - learn something ‘Cuz’.

4. I’ve tried, but I still don’t like you.

5. I don’t understand what the hype is all about. Your poetry aint ‘all that’. It’s cliché and boring.

6. I’m sorry I’m not there for you as much as I could be. I try, but my own life keeps getting in the way. I feel so guilty about it. Forgive me. But at the same time, you’ve put yourself in that position. I wish you would listen and stop being so hard-headed.

7. Sometimes I miss our friendship, but not enough to kiss your ass.

8. Yeah, your blog persona is ‘gully’. But on the real, you’re just another nerd on the internet. I see right through you and your bloggin’ compadres. Take those pink panties off, ya fuckin’ cry babies.

9. I see the few strides you’ve made over the years, but when are you going to step up to the plate and be the man you have the potential to be? YOU = a whole lot of charm and a whole lot of bullshit. I need your assistance, like ASAP, consistently. Don’t talk the talk, if you can’t walk the walk. It was a mistake to ever indulge you with my presence. You are so disappointing. I wish I never met you. And what bugs me the most is that you really could care less.

10. I love you with all of my heart. So much, I’d be willing to sacrifice some of my dreams, if I thought it would ensure your happiness and success. Please don’t let me down. I am afraid of your failure. If you fail, I’ve failed too. That would be a hard pill to swallow.