Rebuilding and Growing Through the Ugly. What Else Would I Be Doing?

Okay, you can stop the rioting; I’m back. *smile*

Fortunately I make sure to keep me some extra “swagger” on deck - in case of unforeseen scenarios, as such. Please believe I had to tap into my reserved ’swagger supply’ to get my levels of ‘gusto’ back up to par.

Shit, even the sauciest of the saucy can get wore down from time to time. I aint no mf’n superhero. I’se just a mere mortal tryna ride this life of mine, until the wheels fall off. Trust me, the road gets loooong, winding and bumpy. I am forever thankful for the support of family members and friends who help me navigate through the rough patches of my journey. Cruise control is nice, but isn’t always the most effective.

I am also thankful to the Creator, who built a woman like me to endure and press on. But then again, what choice do I have? Do or die, right? Keep pressing on, or stop sucking air. I chose life for the time being. And I know this may sound like I’ve just come back from Iraq, or that the doctors have just informed me I no longer have cancer * knock on wood*, or some sort of drawn out, Lauryn Hill speech . . . but I’m just sayin’ - I’m thankful for the support of my compadres and the internal strength I am blessed with.

Having the plug pulled on my site was a valuable lesson indeed. One of the things I’ve confirmed is that some people do not value creativity, nor do they realize the time and effort it takes to keep the ball (in this case, blog) rollin’. In regards to the most recent situation; a friend of my suggested that I could always write more “stuff”. True, I can always write more “stuff”; that’s a ‘given’. But what I think she overlooked, or may not understand is that writing (whether my skills be great or suck eggs), is critical to my growth and survival.

What you see and read is ME, or at least a part of me. It takes a certain kinda person to blog/write. If you’re halfway nice with it, people will read your shit . . . I can’t count how many times I’ve submitted my psyche over to the likes of YOU, and the rest of the world. Not everyone can or is willing to do that. And like I said, it takes work too! Believe it or not, words don’t just flow out of my ass like poetic rainbows and gumdrops. I aint that lucky, nor talented. So respect the technique, mf’rs!

Anyhoo,

Considering she is very much into her academics, I attempted making a comparison she could relate to; perhaps then she could feel my pain.

“What if you worked for months and months, researching and documenting your thesis; only to have all of your hard work deleted ? You would be crushed. “, I dished.

You know what she said?

“That would be different because my thesis is on a deadline. You write on your free time.”

Her response let me know that she just doesn’t “get it”. And maybe that’s true for some other folks too.

Hmmm . . . okay . . . I guess. Now I know. . .and the world keeps turning. . . and I’mma still keep typing. But I guess I won’t be looking to certain individuals for validation. Some folks don’t hardly believe in themselves, so how and why would they believe in me?

Moving right along: The RADIO.BLOG will be up and running soon. I’ll continue to write, share and grow, the best way I know how. The rest of the site is back in effect as well.

And I guess that’s it for today. It’ll be greater, later. Thanks for understanding.

*Dukes up, Baby!*

Angelique -