[EXHIBIT A.] Somebody’s momma came to the movie all extra late and stepped all over my good foot (the one without a bunion) . . . REAL HARD. Ouuuuuch! I wanted to cry out into the darkness but I didn’t want to fuck up anyone’s DREAMGIRLS experience. And did she say “excuse me”. . . .? YES!

Still I could’ve allowed myself to be offended if I really wanted to . . . cuz folks always gotta be all extra tardy to the “picture show” and stepping on other peoples feet and shit.

Hmph *crosses arms*

So why should today be any different? My name was put on cyber blast for an incident I had NOTHING to do with, but somehow it’s still my fault? I am the evil force lurking in the shadows and responsible for everyone elses actions, right? Geez, I wasn’t aware I was signed up for the position of “Evil Puppet Master of the Midwest”. Aint nobody told me nuthin’! Aint I suppose to get a check or something?

So yeah, I really started to get offended (like I have in the past) . . . Certainly, I have every reason to. . .

[EXHIBIT C.] Tonite I opened the newspaper; a community paper I’ve written for (@ $FREE.99) on several occasions . . . a paper I’ve promoted on this very site. The same publication that last month, the editor forgot to put my name on one of the 3 FREE articles I wrote. Not only were the columns and templates looking all chopped & screwed like mixed tape for the dirty south. . . word on the street is that the editor is taking credit for the article that is missing my name.

Hmmmm . . .okay.

This month, I was shouted out for “Cutest Website/Blog” of the year (as part of a list for the “Keepin’ It Real 2006 Wrap-Up”). Well, THANK YOU ! Too bad my websites name is spelled incorrectly ‘ala “Saucey Dame Deluxe”. *ha ha* Now, I could understand this being an error had I never written for the paper, or my site and bio wasn’t featured two months ago (with the correct spelling – SAUCY DAME DELUX). Or if initially I wasn’t the person who was asked to write the “2006 Wrap-Up” ( but I’m on some other shit – so it didn’t happen). But considering the editor has my home telephone number - isn’t it somewhat retarded that my name is spelled all wrong?

And speaking straight from the ego - SAUCYDAMEDELUX.COM aint “cute” . . . it’s HOT! Especially when you look at it from a local perspective. *Lemme find out the same person who wrote the “2006 Wrap-Up” is the 1# Saucy Dame love/hater from [EXHIBIT B.] because WE KNOW that person knows how to spell my name correctly. LOL!

Once again, I really started to get offended . . . I could feel my body getting all tensed up and prepared for offensiveness . . . I aint gotta lie. Ever been offended by someone or something and then you think of all the people, places and things that have offended you?

Oh, that’s just me you say? Yeaaaaah, right. Sure . . .sure . . .

Well . . .

You know what happened instead? Ya’ll will be really proud of me. . .

I started laughing at myself. . . it started off as a inner-chuckle and turned to full blown, Grade A, Dave Chappelle, ROTFLMFAO, hardy-har-har, Bernie Mac, Robin Harris (R.I.P), Eddie Murphy’s, wardrobe, haristyle and all around role in DREAMGIRLS, type of laughter.

A thought popped into my head and suddenly everything felt so much better . . .

I REALLY DON’T HAVE TIME TO BE OFFENDED! - Especially over some DUMB SHIT. Dumb shit will continue to occur, everyday, until the end of time. At this very moment there is at least one dumb and/or offensive person being born in a Metropolitan area near us.

So what can I do about it? NOTHING.

Shit, some people don’t even have a clue they have offended you. And who has Angelique offended lately? Aint no tellin’. Did I ruin your entire day w/ my offensiveness? If so, I swear it wasn’t intentional.

For those of you who “get it” - I know it’s a simple concept and I am glad I’m finally applying to my everyday life. You know how the light bulb just kinda goes on ?

Cuz when it’s all said and done . . .

Thanks for reading and please feel free to stop by SAUCY DAME DELUX anytime. It’s open to the public 24/7. I can’t promise you won’t be offended though . . . YOU have to work on your own shit. I’ll keep working on mine. . .because I am ALWAYS a work in progress. STAGNANT and SAUCY just don’t mix. . . even if you spell both words incorrectly.