Thanks! I Think?

So, I arrive at work this morning to find two stale Christmas cookies sitting on my desk along with a gift that is wrapped in really cute “snowman” paper and adorned golden mesh bow.

SD: Aw . . . who is this from?

DK: *peeking over the cubicle* Me . . .

Quick Facts: “Me” is a he who is very nice indeedy. He is a middle aged man who delights in sharing his Caribou Coffees snack bars with me, cuz he knows I like coffee and snacks. Hell, sometimes that’s all you need to make acquaintances with the Dame Dizzle.

DK: Actually, it’s from my wife. I had the kids wrap it.

SD: Thank you. That was very thoughtful . . .

I appreciatively eye-balled the package. It is the first gift I’ve received this season. I had no clue what it may be, but I knew that whatever it was wouldn’t be too elaborate because it was coming from a co-worker. And I really wasn’t sure why his wife would take an interest in picking out a gift for me, anyway. . .

However, it was nice of him and his wife to think of me. *thinking to myself* Hmmm . . . I wonder what everyone else received?

SD: Do you mind if I open it now?

DK: Sure, it’s no big deal.

SD: *unwraps gift*

It was a gift set of some sort. The outside of the box was bright and colorful with splashy abstract designs. Just the type of hype the Saucy Dame Dizzle likes.

SD: *thinking to myself* WOW! This is a nice ass gift.
SD: *opens box*

Inside is a Mary Kay bath and body gift set with generous sized portions of sugar scrub, lotion and perfume – products from the Mary Kay Spa Collection. “Happiness” to be exact.

SD: *enthusiastically* Hey, thanks DK, this is really nice. Thank you!

DK: It’s really nothing to make a big deal out of . . .

I thought he was just being modest or maybe he didn’t give the other team members as nice of a gift and he wanted to keep it “on the low” (as this has happened to me on more than one occasion).

Just as I was removing the cap on the perfume to take a whiff of my new fragrance, DK announced:

“My wife was going to throw it in the trash, but I thought you might like to have it. It was a promotional item that they aren’t selling anymore.”

Of course this statement was made simultaneously of me inhaling some lemon verbena smelling type of shit that hasn’t been popular since Laura Ingalls begged her Pa, Charles Ingalls, for a splash of zest at The Olsons “Mercantile Store”.

You see, his wife has been selling Mary Kay for 50 years. It’s no wonder she was chucking it in the trash. Who would throw away a fabulous gift set just because it was a promotional item that they couldn’t sell? So I guess she must’ve had some shit she didn’t want, stockpiled – and she decided to get rid of it. Somehow they thought I might enjoy it.

BUT, it’s the thought that counts right? Right? Right?

But whatever, dude is hella cool so I aint mad. I’m just saying – He could’ve kept the whole “trash” thing to himself. Ya think? Typical man response. Ya’ll just don’t know when to hush it up. . . *shakes head*

LOL!