Indulge and Bloom . . .
Posted by Saucy Dame Dizzle on
March 26, 2007
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. - Anais Nin
It’s been a long winter season in more ways than one.
For starters,
I had my purse ripped off of my shoulder by a young punk who felt entitled to take what’s mine.
I was witness to man getting shot in the chest, twice, at close range, in a confined space.
I was the target of a “hate campaign”, launched by a individual who was/is relentless on pissing and shitting all over my good name for no sound rhyme or reason.
I’ve finally come to FULL grips with the fact that I am the PRIMARY caretaker of an elderly family member who has a severe lung disease, caused from DECADES upon DECADES of smoking. This person is on oxygen (three tanks reside in their home) , but they STILL smoke almost pack a day.
I was forced to move from my home of five years, in the HEIGHT of winter.
I now live in of one of the most unsavory parts of town, worse than anyplace I’ve EVER rested my head. I can’t hardly relax.
I started a new job. And as we all know, even positive transitions can be stressful.
I’m raising a teenage son without any assistance or guidance from his other half.
My face is rounder. My clothes are tighter. I’ve been running around looking a hot ass mess . . .
It is safe to say I am suffering the effects of post traumatic stress of the ghetto and life in general.
This chain of newly occurring/reoccurring events lead me to the realization that I am not immune to the fuckery, fakery and all around madness of society. I definitely got a friendly reminder that in general, when reality strikes, you can lay down and die a slow death of misery . . . or bounce back and keep striving. Either way, nobody gives a damn what you do, not really.
Why?
Because we are all busy starring in our own movie.
Further more, because I AM a fair minded person with a soul, a conscious and very perceptive to the enviorment around me - I am that much more susceptible to the wrath of negative minds and spirits. Being unique and eye-catching has benefits, but it also has its curses. It may sound cocky, but I swear on 3 oxygen tanks, I came out the womb shining. And for that reason, I will always be noticed - which is all fine and dandy when I’ve got my swagger in tact. But not so much fun when tragedy strikes and the joke is on me.
So yeah, I be going through it, mang. Honestly, not much about my situation has changed. Except one thing: I REFUSE to throw in the towel. Sure, I may retreat to a corner to lick my wounds and a give the world a much deserved middle finger - but damnit - when it’s all said and done, I’ve gotta step up out of the shadows and radiate. I gotta, gotta, gotta keep fighting the good fight. I gotta do it for you . . . and most importantly, myself.
With that being said.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
I was born at the dawn of spring for a reason . . . to represent the the rebirth and renewal of things once faded. It’s time to water my roots and bloom.
Today, I will listen to jazz and play it as loudly as I want to . . .
Angelique Kingsbury
March 26th, 2007
21 Responses to “Indulge and Bloom . . .”
With all that you’ve been going through, you remain fabulously shiny and upbeat, and that’s truly amazing and humbling.
Happy Birthday! Thank you for your sparkly presence in the blogosphere and in the world.
By Kai on Mar 26, 2007
Yes, it is a most glorious day to gloat. For the Dame has grown another year wiser. You, like fine wine have aged gracefully, and only get better as you continue to mature. The trials of life you know very well. But, those struggles have made you into the beaut. that you are. So fine, yet constantly evolving, enlightening and, inviting. I wish you the best on your day. You deserve it all, all the praises due Queen Lique.
By The 5th Letter [E] on Mar 26, 2007
out with the old and in with the new! …bonne anneversaire chica!! all that bad stuff will get better trust. my mommy always says to me “don’t let ANYONE or ANYTHING steal your joy…cause people will try you. misery loves company right?…..you should listen to duke ellington’s “satin doll” today (my absolute favorite song EVER!!) and be happy happy happy!!! oh, and your makeup in that picture…flawless!!! those colors look bad together! see, you look fresh, so your life has no choice but to bloom. if it helps…you brightened my day!!! smile;)
By t.r.b on Mar 26, 2007
First things first:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SAUCY!
It really sounds like you’re going through it and I promise to keep you in my prayers. I’m in a bad place now myself but through it all I know that eventually this too shall pass. The sunshine is right around the corner from the clouds. And Lord knows we need some tans!
Stay up, mama.
By Butta on Mar 26, 2007
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
You are an inspiration. You keep me striving to get through all the BS that is daily life. Shine on!
By Baby Girl on Mar 26, 2007
Happy Birthday, Saucy Dame.
Keep your head up.
I love the flowers. ;-P
Oh, and you know we need to see some birthday pics.
Come with it, ‘Lique!
By Trent on Mar 26, 2007
HAPPY BIRTHDAY saucy sista! i know you are making the most of this day mah!
By lis on Mar 26, 2007
I love me some Saucy
By Toki Wright on Mar 26, 2007
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU BEAUTIFUL SOUL!
Sending love and positive energy your way. Keep shining. We need your light.
By Honey on Mar 26, 2007
Happy Birthday…as a reminder - things happen for a reason. It’s like gold in it’s purest form. If gold was never put through the fire until the mineworker were able to see his reflection in it, it wouldn’t shine the way it does. The mineworker has a way of making sure we don’t come out of the fire until we shine and he can see his reflection in us. Keep holding on - you’re almost there!
By Darius T. Williams on Mar 27, 2007
happy birthday Dahlin’ –had a blast at your shin-dig ..ooo how sexy!
All the best in 07 –there’s a lot o month’s left !
tk
Dang–do we get pics?
By tk on Mar 27, 2007
Lique, it was great seeing you chica. Hope you enjoyed your birthday. We have to go back to Cafe Lurcat for the burgers. They were delish! This is your year! 07 make room for the SAUCY DAME
By Lish on Mar 27, 2007
make the whole fuckin bar sing it….
cheerrrrrio\
By jon jon on Mar 28, 2007
I’m so late but FELIZ CUMPLEANOS!!!!
I hope you had a wonderful day with wonderful friends and tons of fun! You deserve it! And like you said Spring is here and new things are coming your way!
Sending positive thoughts your way!
By golden on Mar 30, 2007
Cheers! Love, peace, and happiness to you.
By DD on Apr 2, 2007
Salud!!
Good vibes from me to you.
By alboogie on Apr 2, 2007
Sorry I’m late. Hope it was fabu!
By princessdominique on Apr 4, 2007
Happy Belated Girlie. I hope you enjoyed your day. I am so happy that you are back on myspace.
By ~Allie. on Apr 5, 2007
hey, i’m hella-late, but happy birthday all the same. (your b-day is 2 days before my son’s.)
the flowers, the shirt and you look beautiful. keep shining. i love your outlook. nothing wrong with a lil self-pity party now and again, but then what? as you said, gotta keep going, right?
By summer on Apr 12, 2007
It may not mean much but I can totally relate to this post…you (as usual) spoke the truth. The two points that really struck home with me are the rounder face and tighter clothes (ugh!) and the lay down and die or keep striven’ but nobody gives a frick what you do…I’ve tried both and what you say is indeed true. Thank God you recognize your own value…so many women don’t. Imma a bit late but knowing you the whole month is probably a celebration so Happy Bday mama. Keep doing what you do.
By Berry on Apr 13, 2007
Happy Birthday. In itself, the mere mention of a birthday, much less a Happy one, is cause for celebration. I think listening to jazz as loudly as you wish is a perfect way to do so. After you finished mellowing out with your Jazz collection, listen to my Funky Diva’s Mix on my site.
SOULcrates
May God Bless you even more in these trying times.
You are truly blessed and highly favored, no matter what tribulations may come, the Kingdom of Heaven is our final destination.
Praise Him.
grantLOVE
By grantLOVE on Apr 25, 2007