Creating a MySpace profile for your unborn child and then linking it to your email distribution list. Upon visiting the profile, you are greeted w/ scrolling images of the baby’s ultrasound . . . This is not the persons first child, nor are they married . . .NOT that I am judging single parents — I AM an unwed single parent too. . . been one for 14 years. But I’ll be damn if I get knocked up again with out a ‘rock’ on my finger and then go about promoting my unplanned pregnancy on a community oriented website. People, we can do BETTER!

Not last night but the night before . . .

24 robbers didn’t come a knockin’ at my door — but like a veteran suffering from post-traumatic stress, I rose up out of my bed at 2 a.m., shell-shocked by the sound of some asshole/s in the middle of the street blazing up fireworks, like people (Saucy) didn’t have to work the next day.

*POP POP POP* goes my mind, every time I here a firecracker go off. Sounds too much like gun shots on the wrong side of town. Reminds me too much of my unfortunate bus ride this past February. . .

If it weren’t for the flashes of light that indicated a PREMATURE 4th of July celebration, I would’ve hit the deck. Now that I know I’m out of harms way — it’ is kind of funny. It’s also a damn shame I live in a time and place that I need to be concerned about bullets flying through my windows. . . Pray for me.

P.S. Fireworks are a waste of money. Talk about a persons hard earned cash going up in smoke - prime example.

So . . .

Last Saturday I spent a whole 30 minutes in the presence of The Great Soul Parade featuring Phonte of Little Brother and Dj Speek Green. On a humbug I heard they were in town and I was invited to stop through, enjoy free admission and a drinky-poo. In standard Dame Dizzle style, I rolled out dolo [see item #1] , as I had a few other engagements to attend later and sometimes folks be cramping my style.

Well, talk about a bunch of off-brand rhythm-less individuals posted up in one spot. The crowd was awful. Leonard Skynard was in town and I think the majority of the patrons were left overs from his concert. Not that I’m hating on Leonard Skynard or his fans — I’m just saying that the crowd was an odd match for a “Soul Parade”. Real Talk.

Whoever promoted and booked this joint needs to step up their game to the 10th power. Those cats Phonte and Speek Green deserved a much more knowledgeable and appreciative audience. Why ‘heads’ weren’t made aware of the show is beyond me.

I tried to shake my stankin’ ass on the dance floor (cuz the Dj was bumpin’ the cuts) but felt a bit awkward. Considering I was the most soulful thang in the building, I quickly caught Phonte’s attention . . . next thing I know he’s shouting me out on the mic — “I see you Ma, I see you . . .” and a bunch of other random bullshit. Of course his shouts were in between other shout outs consisting of “Big ups to all the white girls on the dance floor”. That’s when Dj Speek Green dropped NOTORIOUS BIG and R Kelly’s single, “I’m Fuckin You Tonight”.

That’s when my 30 mins were up and a chic bounced. I’m a fan of good music and like to boogie & stuff. Aint nobody trying to put on a special show for that dude, Phonte or otherwise. Sometimes I think women just throw so much ass at these cats, they assume that’s the way we all ‘get down‘. But whatever, I aint mad. I chalk it up to just another random experience in the Minneapple.

Then again, maybe he was speaking to some other flygirl. . .? Doubt it.

Still,

As the homeboy Sean Daley aka Slug of Atmosphere very wittingly and playfully responded to this :

“Self absorbed women are terrible in bed. Just FYI.“.