Associations

Who yoooou rollin’ with?

Todays Topic: Associations.

Over the past few years I have had to cut some people out of my life. I’m not just speaking on romantic relationships. I’m talking about family and friends too. Sure, they have some lovable qualities, but bad habits and negative attitudes overshadowed the positive aspects of our friend/relationship. Sometimes it’s just not worth having that sort of connection in your life. Especially if you are trying to get your mind right and handle your business.

This is not to say that I am better than anyone else, but hey, let’s face it, not everybody is on the same page. Sometimes people outgrow each other…

Moving forward, I have no use for…

The Party Pooper: Family & Friends who complain about everyone and everything. They aint never satisfied. After a conversation with this person you’re ready for a double shot of Hennessey and some ear plugs.

This personality usually coincides with…

The Slacker/Excuse Maker: The friend who hasn’t made little, if any, financial, educational and/or personal strides…They talk about what they want to do, what they’re gonna do, but it never pops off…ever.

Troublemakers: They thrive on controversy. If they aint caught up in some ‘mess’, they are bored to tears and looking jump start the next “situation“.

Emotional Vampires: Those whose need excessive hand-holding… draining you of your energy and way too dependent on your friendship. Their problems are so thick, you go to bed trying to figure out a way to help them out of their often self-created drama.

The “It’s All About Me” Friend: The selfish friend, always wanting to talk about themselves and could care less about your world. They are convinced the sun rises and sets on their command. By thime they’ve finished going on and on about what’s going on in their life, you may get five minutes of airtime before they start in on themselves…again.

The Swagger Jacker: This person is obsessed with your style and makes move to piggy-back on your flavour, friends and maybe even your significant other.

The Unsolicited Busy Body: The “friend” who is overly involved in your personal life…even after you’ve asked them several times to “fall back”. They really don’t care that much about you and what you’re going through, they just want to be in your all-up-in-your-business… so they can feel better about how “jacked up” their personal life is.

Live Wires & Thrill Seekers: That family member or friend who is sure to put your life and safety at risk because of their kamikaze brand of foolishness…drugs, illegal activity, talking way too much trash at the club and expecting you to help them fight, etc.

Back Stabbers and Discloser’s of Your Personal Business: Definitely the most treacherous type of friend and the worst of the lot.

Let’s not forget about the competitive, manipulative, controlling type of friend…and gossip folks…

All of the above examples are situations I’ve experienced and one time or another and they’ve all sucked rotten eggs.

I am also somewhat guilty of a few of the descriptions above (See “Party Pooper” & “It’s All About Me”). However, I must say that the more I mature, the more I’ve moved away from those traits. I would like to think that over the years I’ve become a better person to associate with and I’ve redeemed myself.

And the list goes on…

The following is an excerpt from the website of Paula White. White is a minister and motivational speaker. My homegirl, Ms.Johnson put me on.

I don’t consider myself to be religious, but I do believe in a higher power. Her message spoke to me and I found myself nodding my head saying..”Yup, it sho is true“. . Maybe it (the message) will do the same for you.

How would you describe the health of your relationships? Be honest, because it’s crucial for your life. There are four types of people in your life: people who add, people who subtract; people who multiply, and people who divide. If you are presently involved in relationships that prey on your heart and rob you of control over your life, it’s time to make a change.

A healthy relationship is one in which there is balance. There is give and take and mutual appreciation and a building up of each other. It is one in which honest words of appreciation are exchanged without any hint of manipulation. Healthy relationships come along with people who have a common direction or destination—common values and goals. If you do not have a common direction, you will always be in conflict.

The associations in your life show your value system. Associate only with people who add or multiply your life. If a person is subtracting or dividing, you need to separate from that person. Never compromise your character for anyone. Don’t give power to any person to manipulate and control. No person can make you lose your joy, your temper, or any other aspect unless you give that person that power. Don’t do it!

It takes emotional energy to end a relationship, and if you cut every unhealthy relationship out of your life at one time, you are likely to be overwhelmed by the loss. Cut unhealthy relationships out of your life one at a time until you can look around you and say, “All of my relationships are pleasing to God.” (more…)

Yeah, I know, more inspirational/motivational speak for the bloggy blog… That’s alright though. I just want all of us to feel better and be happy. Aint nothing wrong that, is it? Didn’t think so…

I’m proud to say the I DO have positive friendships and associations in my life. But I can count my nearest and dearest comrades on both fingers and toes…and that’s being generous. I feel blessed.

Your Associate,

Saucy Dame Dizzle -