the after thought to a shitty day

my girlfriends lent shoulders of support
my sister came through with the white zinfindael (to stop them nerves from rattling)
i even took a puff offa someones nasty ass cigarette
my son hugged me and told me he loves me

but

who is here to hold me?
where are those big strong arms of reassurance?
where is the bass?

you know what . . .?

this is a big fat FUCK YOU to alla of my ex-lovers
whom i probably i tried to love in some form or fashion.

when you see me next time (cuz you always do . . . and just can’t wait to chop it up w/ me - verbally)
spare me the reminiscing of how sweet it was to be loved by me
i already know that

you aint my friend either
so stop acting like i’m still the homegirl

if i were, you would be here . . .

bastards

(yeah, i made it a plural)

it’s alright
i’ll feel better in the morning
& surely enough, i’ll go back to thinking less about strong arms, honey suckle kisses and male comfort . . .

once again, it will be more about me and the additional layer of “strong beige women” i’ve just wrapped myself up in.

goodnight

Will Somebody PULEEZE Pass Me the “Tanning Oil” and a One Way Ticket Up Outta This Motherfucker!

Before you fix your fingers to do anything else . . . do like Diddy says and “press play” . . .

That’s right bitches . . . “we”, as in me and mines reside in the great state of MinneSNOWta. Hip-Hip Hoooray! [insert sarcasm here]. And guess what happened this weekend . . .?

Yes, you geniuses guessed correctly, it snowed and snowed and snowed some more . . .

*Note that the photo below has not been edited. The ginormous, powdery white, puff ball you see, is fresh from heaven . . .(or hell depending on who you’re speaking to). You can’t see my hands, but I went on ahead scooped a scoop to demonstrate my present REALITY.

Side Note: I’m laughing at my eyeballs in this picture. Am I secretly related to Cookie Monster? *teasing* I’ll never tell . *ha*

Read the rest of this entry »

I’m Not Always There When You Call, but I’m Always On Time . . .

So uh . . . pardon moi for not updating this joint more frequently . . . As of late, I’ve been getting adjusted to a new gig, and a new neighborhood (oooohhh the stories I could tell, and probably will). All of that, on top of the regular every day tasks of raising a teenager (the right way), keepin’ the refrigerator ‘echo free’ and pondering ways to improve my fly-girl factor. The daily grind has kept me from the almighty internet. There really should be more hours in the day . . . or some sort of way to live off of .5 hours of rest without the risk of walking around in a delusional stupor. I need two of me, just to get the job done and keep everyone satisfied.

Read the rest of this entry »

Share My World: No Partying, Fine Dining, Shopping or Bullshit - Just Everyday Life.

My apologies for the lack of updates . . . It will be greater later. I have to get things in tact and pay dues in order to have fun and be fabulous, right? That is what responsible people do (or so I’ve heard).

For starters, I’m in the process of packing up my stuff and moving. So far, the event hasn’t been too stressful. One thing I appreciate about myself is that I keep a fairly organized home and I am not a “pack rat”. I throw shit away or donate it the thrift store if it is still in good condition. If I’m not using an item, articles of clothing, etc - then I am no longer anointed to have it. Ya know? Someone else could use and appreciate those things more than I do. And I’m pretty sure as I am typing this post, there is another “sister big bones” in the 612, stuntin’ in my once beloved ‘this or that’. *ha ha*

I did find a pair of ugly ass “Herman Munster” platform sandals, collecting dust in the back of my closet though. They really are quit frightful. I paid good money for ‘em too (NINE WEST). . . I copped those joints at the dawn of the new millennium. Please don’t ask me why I thought I was ‘doing it’ (the damn thang), considering I was a good 6’3 while wearing them, scraping the sky and stepping on buildings and citizens in the process. I’m lucky I didn’t twist my ankle into permanent disfigurement. Yeah . . .it’s like that.

I aint throwing them suckers away though. I’m entitled to hang on to some of my outdated stuff, right? They might come back in style. . . for my niece . . . so she can run around on the Herman Munster tip and everyone will jock her retro flavour. *lol*

Share My World: Flesh Of My Flesh . . .

My son. He is amazing. Even when he is working my last damn nerve and going against the grain (like teenagers tend to do) . . . he is still amazing. It blows me away how intelligent and insightful he is. Dude is SMART as hell. No, really! And I am constantly discovering new things about a person who has lived in my home for almost 14 years. I am impressed. When did he become so knowledgeable and in tune with the “going-ons” of the world? I thought I was present for a lot of it, but I guess I missed some things.

Last year was a rough year for us. It’s like one day I came home from work and I didn’t know the person sleeping in the next room. He was changing. He looked like someone I know, but his behavior and attitude was foreign to me. I guess they call it ADOLESCENCE. That’s around the same time I realized that there was some work to be done. . .on BOTH our parts - like redefining and setting boundaries, LISTENING and BUILDING. Of course these things should always take place in any relationship, but sometimes we get sidetracked with the “daily” grind and other folks bullshit. I am FAR from being a selfish parent. Still, I know there were times when I could’ve been more invested in his ‘reality’ and not so absorbed with mine. Real talk.

So I am getting to know my child, again. Cuz he keeps growing and changing . . . I gotta keep up . . . or I will surely fall off the edge and the world will know my seed better than me! Trust. And even then, with all of my efforts, I STILL will never know my child 100% - but my goal is at least 90%. (I’m a nosey parent too). I ask questions and snoop. I make phone calls and recruit spies & allies. Fuck that.

After a long conversation with my son:

Mom: You are special. You know that don’t you?

Son: I’m not special. Anyone else can do the same things I do. I’m not anymore special that anyone else.

Mom: Well, everyone is special in there own way. . .we all have our strengths and weaknesses.

Son: So, if everyone is “special in their own way” . . . then none of us are really special . . .because were ALL “special” . . . which contradicts the meaning of being special.

Mom: Okay, I’m going to bed now. . .*lol*